Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day

Today is a day where we take some time to appreciate the Fathers in our lives.

Ever since I was 13, this holiday has been kinda tough for me. The first year, it was unbearable.
I cried. A lot.
"It's not fair" "I wasn't ready to say goodbye" "Why did he have to die?"
I was sad. I was angry. These feelings stayed for a long time.

11 years later, the pain is still there. The wound isn't as fresh, but it still hurts.
I feel like my father is missing out on so much. Every milestone Aubrey reaches, I feel a little sting because he isn't here to witness it. I know he'd be so proud.

He'd spoil her. Love her. Pull her out of school on random days to go play video games. Say yes when we say no. All the things he used to do to me to make me feel extra special.

I feel sorry for Aubrey. Sorry that she never got the chance to meet him.

But at the same time, her daddy reminds me so much of my dad that I feel like, sometimes, he's still here with us.

So even though he drives me crazy
can never be serious
turns everything into a joke
chews too loud
steals the blankets
watches boring movies
doesn't like coffee
and is the pickiest eater I know..

..I realize how blessed Aubrey & I are to have him in our lives and I wouldn't change anything.

Happy Fathers Day, babycakes.
So happy that you're ours :)


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